I asked for it...*sighs* I suppose I'll do it. :P

Y'know, sometimes I just wonder what I get myself into. So, this is a survey/quiz thing that Rachael gave me to do. xD
***

1. What is it that you absolutely need sexually?  Dominance
2. What is something you have always wanted to try? There’s a lot.
3. What is something you have never done in bed before?  Uh…plenty.
4. What time of day do you like to have sex?  Any time.
5. What do you absolutely need to see to turn you on?  His desire. xD
6. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? They were probably wandering before the kiss…
7. If someone was in the next room while you had sex would it make you nervous or excited?  Depends on who it was.
8. Would it bother you if your bf/gf got naked at a beach or river? Depends. Are we the only ones there?
9. Have you ever faked an orgasm?  Nope.
10. What Part of your body are you self-conscious about? Everything.
11. Do you have any sexual regrets?  No
12. If a lover cheated on you would you take them back?  No
13. How Important is sex in your life? It isn’t. Not at this point in time.
14. How Important is love in your life?  Very important.
15. What is the biggest fight you have ever had with a bf/gf? Having to explain to him that I wasn’t having sex with my homosexual best friend.
16. Do you believe in make-up sex? Absolutely
17. Have you ever told a complete stranger something you kept from a lover? Not really.
18. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nope
19. Have you ever rebounded and known you were doing so? Nope
20. Who did you lose your virginity to? No one.
21. When and Where did you lose your virginity?  See above.
22. If you could go back in time would you change it or take it back? Again, see above
23. Would you go down on your bf/gf under a restaurant? Nah.
24. Where would you have sex in public? Depends on the time of day.
25. Would you ever have sex while at work? Maybe.
26. Would you have sex in the corner of a department store?  Nope.
27. Would you have sex in the rain? Yesh
28. What movie makes you horny?  None really.
29. What is the highest number of orgasms you've had at once? Depends on if you’re talking during sex or not…
30. What's the highest humber of times you've had in one sex romp? ............
31. How many do you wish you could have?  Multiple. xD
32. What do you like Trimed,Shaved or natural? Trimmed or shaved.
33. Would you have sex in a dressing room?  Maybe.
34. What sounds do you like to hear during sex? *giggles* You don’t want to know.
35. What sounds do you make during sex?  There are a lot of sounds.
36. What words do you love to hear during sex? Depends on my mood.
37. What do you yell during an orgasm? Are you supposed to?
38. How many times a week do you like to have sex?  As much as I would, if I could.
39. Do you want to try the 69 position?  I do.
40. What are your three fav. positions?  Doggy, against the wall, and tied up. xD
41. What are the top 3 erogenous zones on your body?  Neck, shoulders and inner thigh.
42. Top or Bottom?  Bottom
43. Bedroom or other room?  All around the house if he wants.
44. Lights on or off? Doesn't matter xD
45. Public or Private?  Private.
46. Partially or Entirely naked?  Entirely :3
47. Oil & Lotion or Candles & Egyptian Cotton Sheets ? Both
48. Naughty Videos or Hott Photos?  Foreplay? Probably vids. xD
49. Lacy Panties/Silk Boxers or Leather?  Neither. Unless I’m biting into leather. xD
50. Fast & Hard or Slow & Gentle? Both.
51. Standing up or Laying down? Either.
52. Soft or Firm touch? Depending on the intent.
53. Under Covers or On top? Either one
54. Would you ever have sex in your childhood bedroom? Sure.
55. Have you ever hooked up on a swing set? Ooooh. Good Idea. xD
56. Is there any desire that you want to try that you think is taboo?  Everything I want is taboo.
57. Any New Positions you haven’t done but want to try?  All of them!
58. Do you have any sexual fetishes you want to explore? Yep.
59. Are there any secret desires you have never told? Yep.
60. Where in the house is your favorite spot to have sex? Bed.
61. What is your favorite thing about sex? The closeness and the passion.
62. What is your favorite sexual setting? Any place could be the setting. xD
63. Whats your Favorite position? See question above?
64. Would you ever work out nude? Nope.
65. Would you have sex on the bench press? Oooh fun.
66. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater? Yep.
67. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf? Only if it was for our use.
68. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf? If I ever felt that I could trust him enough and that he’d appreciate it.
69. Do you think you need sex more or less often than the average person? About as often as the average person.

An Update

So, I promised an update, and here it is.

I don't know if anyone is going to read this, and I don't know if anyone really cares, but I'll write it anyway.

Wednesday November 14, 2012 1000.

I find out that my only living grandfather is in a hospital in Ocala Florida not doing well. They think he won't make the night.

2100-11/15/12 0400
I toss and turn all night. Nightmares run rampant. I wake up crying a few times.

Thursday, November 15, 2012 0530

You see, the first mistake I made in the whole day was decide that it was going to be a good day. I had clinical, and I was sitting on the unit doing my patient research, praying because I was med nurse (which meant that I passed ALL of the meds for half of the student's patients, so, 7 students, 10 patients) and I needed to pass meds on five patients, including my own.

Now, this wouldn't have been difficult, except there was another girl. We'll name this girl Lucy. You see, Lucy hadn't passed a single med since this past spring and I swear she hadn't practiced or even read over the med administration rules. It took her ONE HOUR to pass meds on ONE PATIENT. Let me take this moment to remind you we had 10 patients, all with 0800 meds. Which meant that you only had until 0900 to give them or it is considered late and a med error. It eventually came to me and I had to gather both my 0800 and 0900 meds. I gave them to my patient. But because of the delay, there were still four other patients who did not even have their meds ready to be given in each room, because the med cabinets are in the patient's room and they're locked and there's only ONE key. And you can't unlock all of them at once because a patient might feel a little upset or something and decide to eat the pills like candy and drink the liquids like juice.

It's not even 1000 and I'm already wishing that I hadn't woke up from bed.

Because, on top of passing meds, I still had to do my assessment on my patient, which takes about a good 15 minutes if you do it right. I also still hadn't been able to document my 0800 vitals. I don't expect anyone reading this to understand the problems, but let me tell you there are.

So, I didn't get to stop passing meds the whole morning. When I got a five minute break, I ran to the bathroom and then went back to work. AFTER I finished passing all of the meds, I ran back to my patient's room to do an assessment, and had to wake him up because he was sleeping and I needed him awake. I finished my assessment, documented everything, and finally was able to sit down to try and get the information for my care plan (a packet about 9 pages long that you have to fill out and turn in by the end of the clinical day, which was 1200).

I didn't get a chance to finish it.

Instead, I was yelled at by my teacher and reprimanded because I hadn't documented everything right when everything was done, med administration was shaky, and the list just went on. Basically we'd pissed off the clinical instructor and she was taking it out on us. Yay.

I left the hospital at 1200 and had to be at my school for the second half of clinical by 1400. Well, I got two blocks from the hospital in stop and go traffic, and it was stop, go, stop, go, stop, go, gooooooo....STOP. Well, my 1996 Buick didn't like the quick stop and I bumped into the back of a very pretty black Lexus. We pulled into a parking lot and the woman HAD to call her husband. Well, he INSISTED that the police be called. An hour and a half later (1330), the police finally showed up. I was cited (no one was hurt, the only thing that happened was we exchanged a little paint), though I had insurance and it really wasn't my fault because it was a green light and the woman just randomly stopped for no apparent reason...and I had a $143 ticket.

Yay.

I called my mom whilst waiting for the police and she came out to meet me because I was upset. I was stressed because of clinical and then this was my first "accident." AND I had to pay a ticket with NO money. Yep. So, she came out, calmed me down, got me to call my instructor. I called and let her know that I'd be late because I was in an accident and waiting for the police. She told me to take my time and be safe.

So mom took me to eat something because I hadn't eaten the whole day, and then we headed back to my school. At the corner of the intersection where my school is, my car DIED.  At a green light. I got it started back up and kept going, only for it to die in the parking garage. Frustrated, teary eyed, and just ready to curl up into a ball and turn into dust, I got the car parked.

I went into the school and was only 30 minutes late for clinical. EVERY EYE OF MY CLASSMATES WAS ON ME. Not the movie we were watching about NG tubes.

apparently, someone spread the rumor that I was dead.

Yay.

So I get through clinical with the whole class asking if I'm alright and that they're sorry and yada yada...

And I go to get Rachael, because today is the Twilight Breaking Dawn marathon Parts 1 and 2, and it was the opening day and we were going to see it and it was going to salvage the rest of the day!

WRONG.

See, I'd decided that was something to look forward to.

So in the very bad part of a very bad neighborhood and at very bad time of the evening (dusk), I got stuck. Because the car died. Again.

Needless to say, I didn't get to go to the movie.

Disappointment overload.

I go home, get on the computer to do some homework, and I find out through Facebook that my grandfather has died.

November 15, 2012 2100-november 16,2012 0730
Bed.

Friday, November 16, 2012 1000-0400
I get to work on Friday, totally and utterly exhausted and disappointed. I do my work and get picked up by Rachael. We're supposed to meet with another friend to go to see Breaking Dawn (pre-planned by a few weeks).

Well, we wait and wait and finally we find out that we can't go. Our friend's check (she was paying) didn't go through. BLAH.

Fine. No more plans.

11-17-12 0000
Bed.

11-18-2012 1045
CVC/PICC DRESSING CHANGE CHECK OFF RETAKE
"You're fifteen minutes late."

"What? No I'm not. I swear the e-mail said 1045."

"Nope. 1030. Look here. Okay. we have lest than fifteen minutes until the next person comes in. If you can complete the check off in that time then we'll be good."
"Okay, let's go."

I passed. In 10 minutes.

Yay!

fifteen minutes late was noted on my check off sheet though. Oh well.

11-20-12 1000

pharm Exam failed.
 Now failing the course.

11/21/12-11/25/12 Thanksgiving break.

I slept. A lot. XD

11/27/12
Meeting with my Pharm instructor who tells me that I'm failing and that if I can get a 90% on the next exam, I'll be in passing range. And then I'll still have to pass the final with at least an 85%.

Do I mention she doesn't teach?

So, this is where I'm at in a nutshell. I left out a lot of things that compounded onto each other, but yeah. It's just not been great. A week before the accident, I was diagnosed with Sciatica, and that is still bothering me. The car doesn't run now...and...yeah.

I just want to sleep. And cry.

And not have any more clinicals. Tomorrow is the first clinical day since the accident. I'm med nurse again. It's another half-day, and I have a check off for NG insertion, a feeding (either continuous [machine] or bolus [syringe]) and then the discontinuation/removal of the NG tube. Pray for me.

Something I just wrote up

So, I have a tendency to write when I'm stressed. Like, extremely over the top stressed. I'll eventually get around to posting a blog about everything that's happened and how things are going, but that isn't what this is about. This is about a little bit of inspiration that I think is stemming from my LOTR withdrawals and the fact that I haven't written a decent RP in a few solid months.Or a fanfiction...Or anything, really.Academic papers don't count, because I can write those in my sleep.  And...I've had a similar dream. Just, not as...detailed, obviously.

Anywho.

Here it is. If you want to hear more, let me know.

(WARNING: IT'S LONG)

               Don't say I didn't warn you.

______________________________

If it wasn't raining, it would have been obvious that she had been crying. It had been a long, hard battle. So many had been lost. As she looked out over the battlefield she could see people slowly moving from one body to another, searching for survivors from both groups. The fight had been between brothers. After they were killed, all were just but servants, being told what to do and where to go. Now it was time for the cleanup, the memorial, the mourning, and time to move on.

She’d just watched so many men die, had almost died herself, and had killed just as many men as any other man on the field. The last man she had killed had found she was a woman. He’d pulled her helmet from her head and once the raven locks were released, they cascaded down her shoulders and became soaked in the rain. He hesitated, which was his mistake. She could still feel the blade sliding through his skin and in between the bones. She could feel as the last breath of life left him, as his body went limp. And then she knelt with him to the ground and laid him there in the mud, staring blankly up at the sky as she rose.

“Adrienne!” It was a male’s voice, but he sounded so far away, so many years away from her. Her sapphire blue eyes scanned the crowds again. There were more survivors, but many were going to die before nightfall. Their injuries were too great and their spirits too weak. She had watched, just an hour before, her lover slain by a single arrow loosed from the bow of a man from the opposing army. She could feel his surprise, and then his pain. Her scream was the one that filled the air, releasing all of her pain and agony in one sound. Men around her stopped fighting for a brief moment, and then they compiled around her.

Somehow, in her fury, she’d dispatched them all.

And when she looked back up to look at him, he’d disappeared into the sea of bodies and mud.

“Adrienne…”

The voice was closer this time.

“..let me help you…”

Suddenly the world spun.  Adrienne could feel that she was moving. She was moving away from the voice and the hands grabbing at her.

“You’re hurt.”

His voice sounded pained. But she still hadn't found him. She could still see the sea of bodies; she could still sense where Adam’s body lay.

“Adrienne. Look at me.”

It was hard to focus so close to her, but she did. A man with stubble lining his strong jaw line and chin, with emerald green eyes as deep as the forest and tanned skin that told of many days in the sun and with a strong spirit and a voice, met her gaze. His name was Jonathan. He was from the same town as Adam. He had been Adam’s best friend.

“He’s dead.” Adrienne spoke. Her voice was raw and shaky. “The man shot him…with one arrow.”

“I know.” Jonathan said evenly. His voice wasn’t cold. It wasn’t harsh. It was a fact. Just as it was a fact that Adrienne was hurt and needed help.

“You’ve been hurt, Adrienne.” Jonathan said firmly.

Adrienne waved him off. “Just a scratch.” She mumbled, looking back out at the bodies. So many dead…

Jonathan couldn’t help but smile a little sadly. War was not a place for a woman; especially this gentlewoman who had only been allowed to learn how to fight because her father had been king and had doted on his daughter.

Jonathan knew that it would only be a matter of time before Adrienne succumbed to her injuries. There were many and not just mere scratches. Some of them could have toppled full grown men. But Jonathan supposed it was the shock and the denial that kept her going. Women were fascinating creatures that way.

As soon as the thought left his mind, all of the color drained from Adrienne’s face and lips. She had paled considerably and suddenly she swayed. The sword she’d been holding at her side fell to the ground with barely a sound in the wet mud and her eyes glassed over.

 Even in this state, Adrienne was beautiful. And then as gracefully as she’d been standing there and speaking, Adrienne’s body fell limp. Jonathan caught her small fragile frame in his arms and lifted her to him. He could see where the injuries had come from, where the armor hadn't been able to accustom to her curves, revealing vulnerabilities. She hadn't been meant to fight in a war. Her father had refused to get her armor made. 

Jonathan supposed that she’d stolen this armor and saved a farm boy from being in her spot.

He took one last look around at the battlefield, and headed to the medical tent where Adrienne would be tended to and nursed back to health. He'd help count later. Right now, Adam's lover was more important than anything else.