Happy Birthday to my Best Friend and Then it's All Downhill From There....

So. Today was my best friend/sister Rachael's birthday. As a gift, I took her to see Despicable Me 2 and gave her a Hot Stone Massage kit I'd gotten for her back in February. It was great seeing her, as we hadn't seen each other for a while, and I enjoyed sitting next to her and having fun like we usually do.

After we parted ways, I spent the rest of the time with my boyfriend, younger sister, and her friend (Well, we stalked them, to be completely honest. We'd already been through the mall once) as they walked through the mall.

After we finished with the mall, I took my boyfriend home, and then drove home with my sister. We entered the house, it's close to 9 p.m., and no dinner has been cooked, and nothing seems to have been touched. My mom is laying on the couch, and my other sister on her computer (Where she lives, I swear. She barely moves to do anything. Talk about a vegetable?).

I get myself all worked out (bathroom, a drink of water, etc...) and then go into the living room. My mom is asleep. So I talk to my sister who has been home all day, and find out absolutely nothing through her. My mom wakes up and she's in a bitchy mood. I can just tell, you know? So I ask her what's wrong and why she's upset. She looks at me and then looks away. "I'm not upset. Why should I be fucking upset?" The curse instantly stabs my heart and I start getting anxious. What happened now? What is she going to pin on me because I wasn't home?

So, I take a breath, try to calm myself, and say, "Well, if you aren't upset, then why are you acting like you are? If you weren't upset, you wouldn't be cussing." She makes one of those noises that is almost like a "pfft" sound, and then starts bitching. "Well, after you guys left to go to the movies, I got called into work. But because you guys were gone, I couldn't tell them I could go in." One point against me. "THEN, I got denied for unemployment." Bam. Number two.

Now, for those of you who don't know, my mom was wrongfully terminated from her job because her boss wanted to take the word of a person that wasn't trustworthy (and had been proven such multiple times before) over my mother's (who they have never had any problems with), back about a month ago. She applied for unemployment and started her search for a new job the same day she was terminated. She's technically hired into 3 different places, but only one place (that does facility staffing--she goes in when the facility can't find any of their employees to go in and covers for them) actually calls her. They called her once about two weeks ago. Because she worked the 8 hour shift, unemployment says that they can't pay her for the time lost. Which is bullshit. We're financially dead right now. I don't know what we're going to do. I've even tried selling my GPS and other items for money, but no one is buying. Everyone is having it tough.

And my family members?

My grandmother told my mother that she couldn't help her. Which is understandable. And then, to add insult to injury, she says, "Why don't you get a rich boyfriend and use him for his money?"

That took a few weeks for her to stop telling everyone.

So now, it's instantly my fault that she was called into work and couldn't make it. Of course. It couldn't have been my younger sister's fault. No siree. Why would it be? I mean, it's not like she made the plans first or anything (She did).

So, without saying anything, I just look at her. I apologize for being the dirt of the earth and unable to do anything right and then she looks at me and says. "Go make dinner." I just stared at her. "What should I make?"

"I don't care."

I ended up making chicken (which was still frozen and took forever in a 400* oven), and italian potatoes. It didn't get done until about 10:00p.m. here. I ate, fed the kittens, and then decided, "Hey. I'll go to bed. Shower in the morning."

Of course, my mother bitches. "Dishes haven't been done, dogs need let out, trash needs to go out, blah blah blah." Stuff that she could have my other sisters doing. So, I go and take the trash out, and then I let the dogs out. My mom finally asks my sister to do the dishes, and then tells the other to do the blah blah blah's.

I come upstairs, ready to go to sleep, but I'm so anxious and angry, and just about every negative emotion you can think of, so I can't sleep.

I feel so worthless to them. Like I don't do enough or try enough. I'm just ready to break down and give up totally. Lay in bed and just...give up.

Hmm....Updates...I suppose...o.o

Life has taken an interesting turn.

Work dropped me from 16h/week to 12.5. Sucks, but still manageable. Because of it, I only work 2 days/week, and I get to choose the days and hours.

I am getting all of my senior year books, including 6 NCLEX books, for $100. The girl is willing to just give me the books and let me pay at a later date. I'm stoked.

Speaking of NCLEX, my coworker, Miriam, said as a graduation gift for me, she's going to pay for my NCLEX! I'm so thankful to her for it. That means it's one less thing that I have to worry about.

I'm still with my boyfriend. He's awesome. Today was the first day that his family was gone and we had some much needed *cough* fun. It's been a little over 2 months since we've made it official and ten days from being 7 months since we've known each other.

I can't believe it's already July already. I really need to get to the skills lab to update my skills, like, yesterday. I'm thinking maybe in the next two weeks I will. I'm going to see if they have some math skills I can practice as well, and see if they can get me trained on the new med-administration system, EPIC, so I'll be two steps ahead for the fall.

Anxiety sucks. Everytime I think about school and my senior year, I start to panic. I don't know why, but it's like my heart starts racing and it gets hard to breathe and I suddenly need air and everything else. >.>

We have babies now!! Three weeks old....(see pic below)

Kitties!!! Callie is mine. xD 

They're adorable. Callie is our only female and she has attitude (and fangs. Don't forget the fangs). 

Um...other than that, things have been pretty much the same. Except for A LOT of rain. 

Other than that I've been doing a lot of reading, gaming, and being home. Every Sunday I go to church and then mostly I'm at home. Like now. I'm home. It's hot. I wish I was somewhere else, but I'm not. 

So, until next time!