I want to throw up. And other news.

Okay. So. This past month has been very eventful. Not the good kind of events either. I'm talking about the kind of events that make you question your existence and the reason why you're still on the planet.

First off, I just want to put a disclaimer right here: I LOVE MY MOTHER VERY MUCH. AND MY SISTERS. The following does not have to do with that at all.

Now that we've gotten that taken care of...

Three weeks ago on a Tuesday night, my mother and I got into an argument. The whys and whetherfors are really irrelevant. Words were exchanged in anger, and my mother's usually verbal abuse ("you are my daughter and you will do exactly as I say," "I don't need to respect you," "You're a fat bitch," "you're a fuck up (because you have a black boyfriend) and therefore will amount to nothing,") and other such verbal slams quickly escalated into threatened physical violence. In her anger (over my responses to her anger,) my mother threw a plate into the kitchen sink, shattering it and one other, while still yelling.

The next morning I was still a fuck up and had car keys thrown at my head, and I was furthermore "Retarded" by her standards.

Tired of being treated the way I was (That was very abbreviated) and being yelled at on the way to my school, I got out of the car, got two steps into the school, and started crying. In front of the financial aid advisor and Sister Sally, one of the few nuns still left at Mercy. I told them that I didn't know what I needed to do, that I was stressed beyond belief, and that I needed help. I needed out. I didn't feel safe or even loved anymore.

Needless to say, this got me a whole bunch of (unwanted sympathy) help. Before the end of the day, I had my FAFSA status changed to forced independent, the Director of Student Life looking at Emergency Housing at the school, and a meeting with the counselor "to ensure my mental safety and health".

No apartments were available that week, so I had to wait.

Fast forward a week. It was a Weds. evening and the director of student life told me two weeks, that he'd finally gotten ahold of the person wanting to break their lease, yada yada.

two weeks pass...(Hell, might I add) and I call him. Still no word.

Another week (Today) has passed and the only thing that I have newswise is that the girl still wants to move, but I may have to wait until January to move in (and she's allowed because her lease doesn't let up until July). So I'm stuck waiting.

And waiting.

Saturday, I'm hoping to go car shopping with my mechanic to see if I can find something in my price range.

Maybe that will help a little.

Idk.

I'm exhausted. I want to throw up. My uterus is a hostile environment and a very abusive part of my body. My abdomen feels like I'm being ripped apart and torn into a million pieces.

My mom's acting like usual.

So, we'll see.